Here's why nice guys almost always get screwed over and the arrogant jerk gets the girl
If you're a man and you're reading this, you're probably single. After all, why would you read this if you've already got the girl, are a 'winner' and have 'arrived'. This one is for a lot of you chaps who were brought up excellently and taught that women like nice guys. But look around you. Look at some of the most beautiful girls today on the scene. Either they're with a bunch of chaps in the family business after the proprietary MBA abroad. They have their fun with women (because hey, boys will be boys right?) who are attracted to fat wallets and are willing to overlook everything else. Because hey, girls just wanna have fun, right, Cyndi Lauper? Heck, if any of you ladies even dressed like Lauper you'd by default belong in a circus!
To get back to my point - have you ever come across a woman who turned down a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting? Probably not! On the other hand, you're sure to have come across some beautiful woman who has turned down a perfectly nice chap because of the stock reason: "Oh, he's such a nice guy. He's really sweet and is he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind; thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal --but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on. That SPARK is not there."
I remember a self-styled know-it-all from a TV channel I once worked at saying that chemistry is everything in a relationship. I agreed then, but today, I think that's a lot of crock. Chemistry fades. If it works, it's a lot more than just chemistry that keeps things going.
But good guys? Heck in today's world, they might as well wear a T-shirt that says 'Use Me!' written all over it. And while being an asshole is not something that will land you the chick you can take home to mummy, it's really about self-respect. Giving too much, too soon is a recipe for disaster.
Not convinced? I want you to ask yourself this question: "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" The answer to that is what I have mentioned above: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. You are too available, too keen for her approval, willing to change your schedule to her whims and fancies. You give too much without getting anything in return. In short, you are a fool. And what's worse than being a spineless fool is that you have brought it upon yourself. After all, if you are already doing so much for her without even being seriously involved with her, why the heck would she need to value you? Why would she need to reciprocate? In fact, she would not admit it, because no woman likes to sound like a b***h. But she'd secretly want someone more worthy, more confident and more valuable. Someone she can be proud of. A real man. You can't blame her, because it's not her fault at all.
But don't be too harsh on yourself. It's human nature. Once you become fixated on the idea that you need someone, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You hand over the power. Someone else is in control of you, the situation, and decisions. Sounds pretty shitty, doesn't it? Maybe you are thinking about a past situation that you were in, that was exactly like this. Now, you can gloat about how wise you have become. But the wolf is always at the door. Having complete situational awareness is the name of the game.
Also, remember this: Things/people that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value. It's human nature. A guy who doesn't invest his sense of what makes him happy, ego and self worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is the one who gets the girl. As Calvin once told Hobbes: 'It's all about balance'.
Sourse : Times of India